Shame by Any Other Name

VI. CREATING A POST-OFFENDER RECOVERY COMMUNITY

In the absence of "decentralization of authority, revitalization of family bonds and communal
bonds, and a more robust sense of interdependence and responsibility to others," many
commentators think reduced recidivism is not a realistic goal of restorative justice practices.
119 Only if offenders can be introduced into strong communities where "citizens are
densely enmeshed in loving, trusting or respectful relationships with others" can the benefits of
restorative justice practices endure over time. 120 Moreover, to truly "restore" the offender to
such a "strong" community, he must be given the opportunity to engage in community
"activities that embody the moral tradition and can be practiced over the long term, throughout
a member's lifetime." 121

Virtue fostering community activities have been described as complex and made up of many
component activities; as having standards of excellence by which its members can be judged;
as being valued for their ability to provide for the health, enjoyment, prosperity and good
functioning of the community; and, as being respected for the qualities of character those who
practice them must have in order do well. 122 Indeed, research has shown that "collective
efficacy, defined as social cohesion among neighbors combined with their willingness to
intervene on behalf of the common good is linked to reduced violence. 123

Communities of alcohol "offenders" that meet these standards are available for study by
restorative justice practitioners in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings all over the country. More
importantly, post-offender programs modeled on AA's "twelve steps" are already at work. 124
The development and support of more such programs by those interested in restorative justice
practice is critical [*319] if it is to be given a fighting chance to replace - or even to exist as a
adjunct - to traditional criminal proceedings.

The "morality inducing" and community enhancing principles and practices of Alcoholics
Anonymous are long-term and on-going. 125 A recovering alcoholic's first AA meeting, like the
first of the twelve steps of recovery, begins a long process of self-reflection, accountability,
reparation, confession, contrition, amends and community service. 126 The
criminal offender, like the alcoholic, has inevitably engaged in many acts of misconduct, all of
which burden the conscience and continue to keep him in a state of shamed estrangement
from his fellows. Although AA literature promises relief from this pervasive sense of
self-loathing, the desired results are not guaranteed absent the alcoholic's rigorous application
of its "twelve steps" of recovery. 127

A. Initiation Into a Twelve-Step Community.

When the alcoholic first encounters the AA community, "older" members reach out in an effort
to restore the "interpersonal bridge" that has been severed by years, perhaps decades, of
shameful alcohol abuse. 128 They applaud, shout "welcome" and assure the newcomer that
he has "come to the right place." 129 They offer to provide the newcomer with "temporary"
sponsorship so he can immediately begin "working the steps." 130 Meeting directories and
AA literature are made available free or at low cost and invitations to subsequent meetings
[*320] with other members are extended. 131 "Newcomer chips," signaling the new member's
commitment to stay sober "one day at a time" are given to great acclaim and shouts from the
audience to "keep coming back." 132

This out-pouring of enthusiastic hospitality can, of course, feel more threatening than
welcoming. 133 If the newcomer is not up to the burst of welcome wagon bonhomie greeting
his arrival on survival's shore, he may sit quietly as often as he wishes and for as long as he
wishes, getting to know his new community by simply listening to the stories it tells. The
hopeless and shamed person, who has been hiding his alcoholic behavior for years, even
decades, is not required to be unceremoniously and humiliatingly revealed. 134 Rather, he is
permitted to sit quietly in a meeting and hear, perhaps for the first time, another alcoholic tell
the newcomer's story as his own. 135 Eventually, the newcomer will gain the courage to tell his
own story without shame. 136

B. The Moral Education of Working the Steps.

If the alcoholic is willing to "work the steps" outlined in the twelve steps of recovery, he enters
into a further process of moral education and social affiliation which "restores" him to a more or
less ideal restorative community. 137 As the Big Book explains: [*321]

[We must] launch ... out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal
housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision [to stop drinking]
was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a
strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us.
Our liquor was but a symptom . . . . Putting out of our minds the wrongs others hand done, we
resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking
and frightened? Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the
other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? The inventory was ours, not the other
man's. When we saw our faults we listed them. We placed them before us in black and white. .
. . 138

The moral accounting created by the recovering alcoholic "working" Step Four is not simply a
record of "bad deeds" committed. It is a means to put one's actions in perspective and to
enable the alcoholic to create a new moral order from the ashes of his life. 139 By way of Step
Four, the AA member can mitigate his harsh self-condemnation while nevertheless taking
responsibility for his misdeeds. Indeed, in making amends, the Big Book advises AA members
to be "sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping." 140 Only
after putting his faults down in "black and white," admitting his wrongs honestly and becoming
willing to set matters straight, does the alcoholic begin to learn "tolerance, patience and good
will toward all men." 141 [*322]

The AA member does not acknowledge these "sins" alone nor store his "inventory" in a bottom
drawer, continuing to hide his shame. Rather, Step Five makes quite explicit the need to admit
these wrongs to another human being. 142 This step is the first opportunity to be freed from
one's shameful secrets 143 and any continued resistance to group participation. 144 By
reading their inventory to sponsors who have "been there," members recognize they are
fallible rather than evil. 145 They come to understand that they can set right many, if not all, of
the things they put wrong. 146

Steps Five, Six and Seven (admission, confession and contrition) are followed by "ceremonies
of forgiveness" of the type recommended by Braithwaite. 147 In Step Seven, members humbly
ask that a higher power remove all character defects so that they may be of service to others.
148 After they have admitted, confessed, and, repented, members make an "eighth step" list -
this time naming the people who they have wronged and to whom they are willing to make
direct or indirect amends. 149 It is no accident that making amends does not take place in AA
practice until the ninth step. "Many newly abstinent [AA members], overcome by shame and
guilt, attempt some version of [the amends] step prematurely and find themselves in
emotionally turbulent waters they are not prepared to navigate." 150

By the time a member brings his "eighth step" list to his sponsor, member and sponsor have
already done a great deal of work together. Trust has been built. 151 Now they agree upon
the details of the restitution. 152 For those victims [*323] who are dead or untraceable,
amends must be indirect. 153 So-called living amends are required under these
circumstances. 154 Members vow to be generous where once they had been selfish, faithful
where treacherous, honest where deceitful. 155 They agree to practice "restraint of pen and
tongue" lest they lash out too quickly or too harshly at those they love. 156

For other wrongs, making amends is direct and simple, if not easy. Money is paid back, even if
it takes years. 157 If a crime was committed, after much contemplation and discussion with
sponsors, friends and family, some members consider confession to the authorities and may
serve jail or prison time as a result. 158

Members do not stop there. Recognizing that God will not relieve them of human fallibility, a
commitment is made in Step Ten to continue to take personal inventory and when wrong to
promptly admit it. 159 Members keep their own side of the street clean and try not to take a
broom to anyone else's. 160 They do not "take another person's inventory." 161

Finally, members agree to "be of service" to others. "Being of service" is not only repeatedly
stressed in the AA community, it is recognized as one of the most effective avenues to
achieving lasting sobriety. 162 Many opportunities exist for members to serve others - from
making the coffee or setting up chairs at a [*324] meeting, to becoming a
sponsor one's self, assisting even newer members in working the steps. Through these twelve
steps, AA achieves the moral education and esteem building necessary for a productive
norm-abiding life in a community of mutual trust and respect.

As the "promises" contained in the Big Book assure the recovering alcoholic,

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are
half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not
regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we
will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our
experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will
lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our
whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will
leave us. We will intuitively know how to handled situations which used to baffle us. . . Are
these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes
quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them. 163

VII. CONCLUSION

The challenge of restorative justice, then, is the same as the daily challenge of being human in
community with others. If we invite offenders to assist their brethren when they step up to the
restorative justice plate, they will give their fellows courage, strength and heart. If we
encourage those offenders to go forth and sin no more, we should also encourage them (and
us-for who among us is not an offender?) to band together in a mutual aid society of support
and service.

This challenge is long-term and on-going. It involves us all. Humanity is still striving to hear and
attend to the lesson given to us more than 2,000 years ago. We have all sinned and have
fallen short of the glory of God. We are all in need of redemption. Not a single one of us can
cast the first stone. We seek forgiveness by forgiving: love and compassion, by loving and
giving; strength by acknowledging our weakness; and integrity by uncovering our shame. If we
reveal ourselves in all our human fallibility, we can stop pretending and move toward the
process of loving and healing. After all, the Judeo-Christian tradition that begins with shame in
the Garden ends with revelation. We reveal and we heal.

Are these extravagant expectations? We think not. "They will always materialize if we work for
them." 164